A new dawn
She looked at me as if I were a God. Oh! That look ! I wanted to tell her that I was not God, not even close. In fact I might be even less than a human. I looked at her, her innocent face, her compassionate eyes 'Oh' I thought 'where am I suppose to hide from them ?' I knew she had traveled a long way just to meet me for a few moments. Though she never said that she loved me, I knew from the look in her eyes that she did. I am no Philosopher but I knew that there were some emotions that could never hide from the human glance. She never uttered a word, But I knew that she loved me beyond any limit and that immense love scared me. But amidst all this I told her a thousand times that I loved her but was I sure of this ?. I don't know I get so confused at times I did love her, loved her very much and at other times I wasn't quite sure but whenever she was in front of me I did love her and my feelings for her weren't lies. I looked at her she was sitting just beside me I closed my eyes 'Oh the smell' I thought 'The smell of her hair was so fresh, probably washed in perfumed water' I looked at her and smiled I did not know what to tell her as I was meeting her after quite a long gap. But still I gathered all my courage and told her that she had become even more beautiful, thought she already was a beauty. She smiled and lowered her eyes.
I waited for further response but suddenly, she raised her eyes and asked " why are these people doing this? It is causing much trouble to the common people.” the question threw me apart, how was I to explain to her the virtue of war but still I smiled to comfort her I told her it was the game of politics and she will not understand its tricks. But she was determined to know so I tried to explain that these people are actually not foes but friends of people. She looked at me, her face was tensed 'But aren't those people who are against the rule the enemy of the nation' she asked. 'What if the protector starts destruction, isn't it the duty of the people to fight against injustice?' I countered she gave a thoughtful glance and became silent and silence paved way for fear in her face. 'Look' I started 'These people who you consider to be criminals are actually your friends. I do the same thing as they do, just that my way of doing is different. Do you think I too can be the enemy of the nation ?" I asked her. Suddenly she looked at me and cried out "Never!" She said 'You are my Hero, how can you do any wrong ?' I took a deep sigh of relief 'God' I thought 'she trusted me blindly but was I to be trusted?'.
I told her a lots of stories on how the people were being victims of this unjust rule. She listened to my words as if she was listening to the ultimate truth or the words of god. So much had happened in these seven days I told her that a few of my brave friends were sentenced to death on the charge of being “enemies of the nation”. They were hanged mercilessly in the middle of the city. she slightly shivered as I explained in detail the draconian policies of the state. I explained to her how this merciless act of hanging people flamed a sense of revolution in the people's mind and I explained to her that at the very time I staged my play. My play, which awaited a perfect moment and no time could have been better than that.
'It had more effect on people than I thought it would have' I said she looked so happy and she literally jumped in joy and clapped . 'The play ' I continued 'was being staged all over the country and it created a sensation but' I stopped ' my name too is added to the list of the “enemies” she looked at me in terror 'My life is at risk so here I am hiding from the authorities' I shrugged but still I smiled , I smiled for her 'hey don't worry !' I said 'my play is doing magic it's a wake up call, Princess our nation is awakening, the revolution that was hitherto been like the duty of just a handful of people is now becoming the goal of every citizens in the country.'
She looked at me in anticipation I knew she wanted to know what happened next I was like a story teller reciting a tale of great worth I continued 'One morning came with a exquisite brightness. That was the brightest day my country ever witnessed. We gained our greatest asset; liberty. Even the air smelt sweeter, I took deep breaths, smell of freedom, I thought. I was overwhelmed by our achievement. We were successful in throwing away the powerful regime that had been victimizing us for so many years. Suddenly, everything has changed and from a villain I had turned out to be the hero of the people. I remembered my those brave friends who gave away their lives for this day to come. There sacrifice didn't go in vain. What I was living at that time was my dream, a dream so beautiful'
I wanted to be honest with her so I told her that in all this time I thought only little of her. Her thoughts barely crossed my mind as there was so much taking place. Now that things have settled, 'I remembered our promise, but it was too late'. It was twentieth day of our last meeting. She too might have forgotten about it, I thought. As things going around must have affected her as well. Thinking all this I decided to go to the place of our meeting though I was sure she would not be there. But anyway I decided to go to that place. And I was greeted by many people on my way, they were looking at me in the same way that she used to. I reached the place and to my surprise she was there. When she saw me, her face glowed and she gave me a smile 'that smile'. I told her 'I was not expecting you to be here' but she said she was expecting me to be there. She hugged me and tears started flowing from her eyes. I had never seen her crying. Then I realized she had kept her promise, she had come on the seventeenth day.
She wiped her tears and said,” I had been waiting for you ever since, I haven't moved an inch from here, I knew you would come, I knew you would never break your promise.” and I had to say, “ and I knew you would wait for me”. Though in heart I was shocked, how could she? Oh I should not have forgotten. She was still in my arms and now she was smiling. “Now you have really become a Hero", she said, “but for me you always were a hero. Oh! I am so proud of you”. “you are such a sweetheart”, I said honestly. "I love you, I love you so much", she said to me for the first time. I held her even tighter and told her,” I love you too dear there is nothing I love more” without having second thoughts.
Then we walked hand in hand to the same place where our martyrs were hanged and where now my play was being re-staged. And for the first time I was not scared of loving and being loved.
- Swarnima Shrestha
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